If you throw a party, and you make available more than two drinks per person, you may want to post a notice such as this one:

Consider the arranger of this event hereby absolved
from any and all liability arising from the following occurrences:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.